That Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the television offerings of the recent year, a handful of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Burdened with dreadful writing, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final series began, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the last season. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, fans certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the least of this drama's problems. The recipient of a very rare zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the problems. The laughably leaden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and materialism? The seemingly deliberate parade of cliches? Acting so poor they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. However, a new season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive excess while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant egotist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various London rogues which seemed rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are forced to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark platitudes and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Rather, the viewing was like reading a sales brochure. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart inclusion of talented emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from oddly jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for explicit escapades as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.